dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize