Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
