Girls should come with a carfax report
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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