she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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