I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
