he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
