I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
