I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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