doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
