just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
