I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
