do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize