I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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