it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
this hospital has no fireball
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
