What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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