; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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