Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In America we eat man semen.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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