i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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