you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
