We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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