i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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