So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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