Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
