So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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