I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
