New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
