First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize