He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
