idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Where did you get a picture of my penis
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
