feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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