so explain again why im purple
no
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
