I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
