i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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