So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
