I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
