i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
