For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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