You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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