I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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