Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
