Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
