Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
