We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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