Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
