I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
