I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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