He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
