No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
