I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
