oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
