so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
