normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
