He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
