Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
