I just cut my nipple shaving
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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