I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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