I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize