am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
