my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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