sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize