I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
